Joyful though I have considered all the facts

humanity

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 00:28:53 GMT

What is it to be human? What is humanity?

I feel most human when I'm most connected to my community, when I'm most vulnerable to my trusted loved ones. I feel human when I am responding to a need or when I have a need of my own. I certainly would like to believe that the definition of humanity lies in our softness, in our fragility, in our vulnerable, soft underbellies and our sweet desires to make a link with other people.

I fear that our humanity, however, is inextricably linked with our cruelty, our coldness, and our desire to dehumanize those who are unlike us. I don't think this is individually true, but collectively, one has only to look at history to see the swath of destruction we create time and again.

I don't see that destroyer in myself. There is a part of me that revels in destruction wrought by others. There is that part of me that danced in joy on September 11, even while another part of me cried. I want to see the current system burnt to a heap of smouldering rubble, and I want to see the phoenix rise from the ashes. But I don't want to burn or destroy, personally, and I want the walls to come tumbling down in a way that doesn't hurt anyone, while still shaking the social power structure to the core.

If we're all human, and we're all so different, what do we have in common?

energy

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 20:23:36 GMT

I'm one of those crazy agnostic atheists who is pretty sure there's more out there than current scientific method and tools can measure and/or verify. I've yet to see anyone convincingly levitate him/herself or tell the future in any useful way, but...

It seems pretty clear that a body has interesting energies that can be used in interesting ways. And I can certainly feel, in some places, a certain something, although I don't usually go so far as to call them energies so much as just a general feeling.

So. If I think I want to play around with this stuff and see more about what I think about it from up close, but I'm completely underwhelmed by nearly everyone I know in person who does "energy work". There seems to be a serious daftness that goes along with it, and for those who aren't daft, there's an incredibly exclusionary attitude. Ick.

I guess it's time to check out the library.

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 22:30:57 GMT

I want to create a home where:

I feel happy, relaxed, refreshed.
I can host parties, dinners, and other social get-togethers and people feel welcomed into and part of my home.
I grow, cook, create, invent things.

In my kitchen, I want to have herbs growing in the window, and drying over the counters. I want my tisanes spicy and liqueurs steeping. I want lots of flavorful, colorful foods.

In the living room, I want lots of light, and decorations that capture the light in the windows. I want comfy chairs, and cushions, and books. And music.

In my bedroom, I want a nest! I want candles, and soft light.

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 01:52:14 GMT

I see even the most well-meaning people teaching their children racism. What can I do about this? I, too, am a racist, if only socially, and attempting to recover, at that. We all are, and the sooner we can accept that, the sooner we can work our way through it and out of it.

But, when you, well educated white woman at the mall, shush your child for saying, "Look at that black boy's doll," rather than using it as a moment of teaching, you are telling your child that it's shameful to be black. Not only is it shameful, but it's too shameful for us to discuss, period.

When I buy band-aids at the market, they have my color. When I apply for a job, my last name won't disqualify me. When I wander slowly through store aisles, pondering purchase after purchase, no one will begin to follow me with suspicions of thievery. For these priviledges and others, I owe the world some extra effort, even if it's hard.

Easter

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 17:47:37 GMT

Eostre: Great mother goddess of the Saxon people, or goddess of dawn and fertility, also known as Ostare, Ostara, Ostern, Eostra, Eostre, Eostur, Eastra and Eastur, among others. Her name derives from an ancient word for "spring".

The festival and ritual celebration of the rebirth of the living earth at springtime is an ancient idea. That we also use this time to celebrate the rebirth of the Christ figure of Christian mythology is no coincidence. Of course, we all know that the old Christian church mapped many of its rituals and celebrations onto strong pagan celebrations as a way of gaining strength and followers. But beyond that, spring is the time of rebirth of the world, so why not that of the savior of legend, as well? If one desires resurrection, spring is the time to send forth one's tender shoots, when the earth is thawing and the sun is gentle.

The Jewish passover celebrates similarly, with the rebirth of freedom from slavery and the departure from Egypt. Spring brings hope and increasing light to the days, and we remember that the last supper was a passover seder. We open the door to Elijah, and we can use the springtime celebrations to open our thinking and welcome in some creative or challenging ideas.

Spring is the time when Persephone returns from the underworld, green returns to trees, many animals give birth. When I see the changes in the world around me, I think about the changes in myself, both intentional and unintentional. I think about where I want to be at the end of the summer, and what I need to do to get there, to be ready for harvest. I consider my freedoms, the choices I make that make me who I am, and those I don't make that also make me who I am. I weigh my beliefs in the young light and consider which of them still apply.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer's Liberation Front, by Wendell Berry

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 03:46:47 GMT

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.